We have all probably gone through a phase when we feel lonely , maybe even unwanted and unaccepted at times. I went through that stage myself, spending time with, and emptying my own baggage of pity on my ‘lonely self’… Until, that is, I realised that I’m enjoying my own company- that the voices in my head that always debated any event or person, have become my mechanism of analyzing them. Until staying within myself made me realise how peaceful it seems not to be called for sometime- even if from family. Until I realised that it was one of the rare times when there is real peace in my heart. Don’t mistake me for not liking company- I love my family to death and I’m very happy around my friends. It’s just that I’m happiest around my own self! It’s like needing icecream (family) with whipped cream and nuts (friends), but a cherry on top is what makes it fancy the! Like, I’ve been to desert camping trips with close friends, loved sitting with them till 3 am, but after everyone retires, I love sitting alone in the desert for an hour later! I’ve started listening to music or mantras or relaxing sounds in my empty time, Binge watching Netflix series without having to pause a million times in between, catching up with news, sometimes scrolling mindlessly on fb or Twitter – without registering much of the content. And sometimes, just gazing out the window, enjoying the breeze… that is the time when I’m most inspired, motivated and I realise that the world is infact so gracious, and that there is so much abundance to be grateful for ! I can sit like that till my eyes can no longer stay open, and then fall asleep like a baby! So that- spending time alone, with myself, is my kick!
You are Enough. What you stand for is enough. Your belief in yourself is enough. Your love for yourself is enough. Your validation for yourself is enough. You donot need constant validation, permission and mercy love from other people – you donot need to change, bend or upgrade to get approval or love from others, either. Simply put, love others, but love yourself the most !
So my kids (and some kiddish adults), ask me this question- ” How do I still have Faith?” Here’s the thing- 2020 has been rough, yes.. Almost everything that we took for granted , came to a standstill. Flights, trains, Roads – borders of countries, even states and cities were closed. Going out to movies- to parks- even grocery shopping- all was restricted. And who can believe that after hundreds of years of medical research and advancement, we weren’t allowed to even go to hospitals unless in urgent need! Even getting out on roads has warranted fines and lathis! The incomes stopped- the visits from friends dried up, Even visiting Family was not allowed! But , amidst all these restrictions- something still didn’t change- There was a bright, hopeful sunrise each morning and a stunning, soothing sunset each Evening! As usual, even on shutdown days! The clouds did come out as expected each winter, and brought along with them the cool breezes… not affected by curfew times! The parrots still sqwak on the rooftops and the pigeons still nibble at my balcony plants … The sand is still soft in the desert and the flowers are still colorfully blooming! And that, is why me, “and I hope we” , still have, and retain the faith. Faith, in whatever we choose to call it- Bhagwan, Allah or Lord , (or even Universe in today’s trend). Just hold onto it!
So we drive to Milky way point in Al Quaa , knowing well that the season to witness the magical milky way view is well over. We land at a beautiful desert point which is magically washed with serene moonlight! Small scalable dunes all in an eye soothing blue hue- this is definitely not what I had expected! After trying to capture that beauty in my mobile camera, I realised that some scenes are for to be captured by eyes and stored in the soul, not in the phone… The night also brought along with it a thick blanket of fog and chill as it settled down upon us… and yet, sitting down alone in the soft sand, I realise, once again, how much peace there is in being one with nature – it could be rides through forests, walks in the parks, strolling on beaches, or star gazing in the vast empty desert… It brings along a little reflection of how much complication we have gathered through the ages- and how much we need to simplify it!
How used to we are at dismissing , the incomplete, the not so abundant things in life – as Bare. As not Beautiful. Plant, Animal or Human. Forget about giving it a chance to be something special, mostly, We don’t even give it another glance.
This “Spectacularly Bare” tree still made its mark as the subject of this well taken photo, without a single leaf, in real darkness. Without any filters. Just its “Beautiful bareness” !
Truth is, everything, every being, Abundant or Bare, has it’s own beauty. There’s always a time, a circumstance, a background where it will stand out, Shine, and be remarkable…
Let us all try and cultivate that perspective, that patience, where we can make our weakness our very strength!
We’ve taken away their forests, we built boxes not only on their grounds, but also invaded their skies with our skyscrapers… but they are here to stay… they were here before us and they will be here long after we’ve become extinct! I find it so amusing – We humans feel that we are the masters of the universe, the most evolved and that we have language!
Look at us now- locked up in the boxes we have built , with fear gripping our minds and lives! Look at these little wonderful flying beings- still free to fly wherever they want, calling to each other with their ever so sweet chirping and cooing…
We still need our phones, data, power to reach out to our own- these little birdies have the raw power that nature gave them!
There are days and nights, one after the other, we are all passing time in this non stop cycle of life… of the Corona times.
We have read this and said this, many times over now- that this time of lockdown is probably a collective fruition of our prayers to have a day more, an hour more , a bit slower, and such things. We’ve all said that let’s pray, alone, together, for our own, for the unknown and for the world!
We have all prayed, have asked our respective God time and again to give us strength, patience and faith. and we have all had moments where we have lost the very same virtues…
So today was one such day for me, and I start watching a movie on Netflix (Its been my thought drowning thing for this period) – and right from the movie- I’ve come across this dialouge that says “God gives us opportunities- if we ask for patience- will God just grow that into us or give us opportunity to cultivate patience? If we ask for strength, will we become rock solid or will We get opportunity to become strong? God gives us what we ask for- in the form of opportunities...”
And THIS has given me a totally new outlook- to this situation the whole world is in! This time is, no doubt, a big, big challenge, but isn’t it also an opportunity to be strong, patient, wise and make a difference, however small ?
It’s Another day, and today life has bowled another googly at us… Someone who we’re responsible for has lost a parent back in India. To say that it is sad is an understatement. To say that it is very unfortunate is to state it lightly. Ofcourse, the person here is overcome with grief. But how capable are we to give them any solace? What solace can we even give anyone at such a time? This day has brought so many realizations… the first one, ofcourse, is that death is the ultimate truth, and that we all have to face it, whenever the time comes. And the other side of this fact is another hard hitting fact is that nothing we can do or say can take away the pain from death. Pain that the family feels and lives through for the rest of their lives. Pain that will, maybe, grow into a monster, or maybe even tame a monster. Who knows? And in such a time , with the person affected not even able to travel or go back home, only compounds the pain. This particular death has brought forward another truth- which we repeat so many times without actually understanding the dimension of it- That there is actually NOTHING that we can do. We are mere puppets in the grand fair that we call life… we can only keep passing through the unending labyrinth of circumstances that lies ahead of us, with nothing but one certainity- it will lead us to the ultimate truth- Death! As challenging as it is, as we navigate through this labyrinth , sometimes we are needed to help others move forward as well… we may even need to carry some for a while. While the passages of life may seem dark at places, with twists and turns leading us to unknown events, there is a little torch that God has equipped us with- the torch of compassion and love! We are, many a times, so freaking encompassed with the darkness of the labyrinth, that we forget to put on this torch ! Of love, of compassion! Let’s remember to put it on, who knows, while you’re showing path to another person, you may yourself find a new opening!